Steph was dangerously close to scoffing a whole Chocolate Orange to
herself by the time her housemate returned home from spending Christmas Day
with her boyfriend and his family. Steph thrust two segments of chocolate into
her mouth at once before scrunching up what little remained of the Chocolate
Orange into its foil and shoving it under a scatter cushion. Kat was bound to
come floating into the sitting room, rosy-cheeked and brimming with love and
Christmas spirit while Steph lamented her own lack of romance and festive
cheer. Steph hadn’t spent the day with a gorgeous boyfriend. She’d spent it
with her family, which was enough to have anybody reaching for a fortifying
sphere of chocolately goodness. She’d left early, leaving behind the screeching
of her squabbling teenage sisters and the malice of her great-uncle Nigel, who
thought Christmas was the perfect time to bully his long-suffering wife. She’d
changed into her pyjamas as soon as she’d arrived home and attacked her
chocolate stash.
‘Pyjamas already? Was it that bad?’ Instead of
wafting into the room like a Christmas angel, Kat shuffled into the sitting
room and perched on the edge of the sofa. Which was lucky as Steph’s Chocolate
Orange was hiding in that corner. If Kat sat back and relaxed, she’d squish it.
‘It was horrific.’ Steph cringed as she recalled
her great-aunt bursting into tears as Nigel told her that she was much fatter
this Christmas. What are you trying to
do? Turn yourself into a Christmas pudding? ‘But it doesn’t look like yours
was much better either.’
It had been Kat and Spencer’s first Christmas
together and they’d decided to spend the day with his family, which had caused
major miffed-off-ness for Kat’s mum. Who cared about next Christmas? Kat and Spencer may not even be together by then.
Oh no. Was that why Kat was looking so forlorn?
She’d left the house that morning brimming with merriment but now she looked as
though her bum had just been compared to a saggy, defrosted turkey. Poor
great-aunt Betty. Nigel was a nasty little man.
‘What’s happened?’ Steph reached for Kat’s hand,
preparing to comfort her friend when she broke the news that she’d been dumped
over Christmas dinner. What a beast Spencer was. Yes, he was gorgeous and toned
and stupidly romantic, but he was an absolute bell-end for breaking Kat’s
heart. And at Christmas too!
‘Nothing’s happened. Nothing bad, really.’
Steph was confused. ‘So why do you look like you’ve
been told to lay off the trifle in case it makes your thighs spread even
further?’ Great-uncle Nigel was a beast too.
Kat gave a sigh and slumped back in her seat. Steph
feared the fate of her Chocolate Orange. ‘It’s the present Spencer got me.’
Steph pulled a face. ‘Was it really slutty
underwear?’ Steph didn’t mind a bit of kinky dressing up (when she got the
chance to show it off), but it wasn’t really Kat’s thing.
‘No.’ Kat took a deep breath and Steph prepared
herself for the worst. ‘It was a box of chocolates.’
Steph was not prepared for that. ‘A. Box. Of. Chocolates.’ What a pig! A box of bloody
chocolates? For his girlfriend? For Christmas? ‘I hope you dumped him on the
spot.’ It would be quite poetic, really. Their relationship had started with
the box of chocolates that Spencer had left mysteriously on their doorstep. It
would be quite fitting for their relationship to end with a box of chocolates
too.
‘I didn’t dump him.’ Kat squirmed in her seat. The
Chocolate Orange was done for.
‘I would have.’ Sod it. Steph reached behind the
cushion and retrieved the slightly squished chocolate. They were both in need.
‘Who buys their girlfriend a box of chocolates for Christmas? Was there at
least a Tiffany bracelet in there or something?’
‘No.’ Kat took a segment of the proffered chocolate
but didn’t attempt to eat it. It sat in her fingers, melting onto the tips.
‘There wasn’t a bracelet. But there was a key.’
‘A key?’
Kat placed the chocolate on the coffee table and
licked the tips of her fingers clean. ‘Yes, a key. To his place.’ Kat’s brow
furrowed. ‘Spencer wants me to move in with him.’
Steph paused, her own chocolate that had been
half-way to her mouth now suspended in the air. ‘He’s asked you to move in with
him?’ Kat nodded her head, her lips pressed into a thin line. ‘Then why do you
look like you’re about to burst into tears? Don’t you want to move in with
him?’ Ten minutes ago, Steph would have bet her last piece of Chocolate Orange
on the fact that Kat would want nothing more than to shack up with Spencer. She’d
assumed her loved-up friend wanted it all; shiny diamond ring, big white dress
and a house full of babies.
‘I do.’ Kat still looked on the verge of tears.
‘But it means moving out of here. It means I won’t live with you anymore and I
don’t want to leave you on your own.’
Steph’s eyes widened. Her mouth drooped. She fought
the urge to fill it with chocolate. ‘Is that why you look so miserable? Because
of me?’ Steph dumped the chocolate on
the coffee table and threw her arms around her friend. ‘Don’t be so daft! I’m
so happy for you, Kat.’ At least one of them should have a happy, healthy
relationship. ‘I know how much you love Spencer and he’s obviously crazy about
you. Did you think I’d be upset?’
Kat gave a shrug. ‘You’ll have to find a new
housemate to help with the rent.’
‘Good.’ Steph gave Kat a playful nudge. ‘Maybe I’ll
find one who doesn’t leave toast crumbs all over the kitchen. Or one who
remembers to buy milk. Should I warn Spencer that you’re pretty crap to live
with?’
‘Hey!’ Kat picked up the cushion and swung it at
Steph. ‘I’m not that bad.’
‘I know.’ Steph turned serious. ‘And I am going to
miss living with you.’
‘I’ll miss living with you.’
‘Don’t worry, you’ll have hunky Spencer to take
your mind off me.’
‘He is pretty hunky, isn’t he?’
‘The hunkiest. You’re a lucky girl.’
‘I know.’ Kat smiled briefly before the sadness
returned. ‘Are you sure you’ll be alright?’
‘I’ll be absolutely fine, I promise you. Maybe I’ll
get a male housemate this time. A gorgeous one I can “accidentally” catch
mid-shower.’
‘And maybe you can hide all of his tops so he has
to walk around topless.’
‘Fab
idea!’ Steph leapt from the sofa. ‘I’ll write that down. Got any more tips?’
Over a bottle of wine, the last two measly segments
of Chocolate Orange and a slightly out of date mince pie each, the girls
concocted a plan of action for Steph’s new housemate/love interest. Kat was
looking much more relaxed by the end of the evening and could finally look
forward to the new year of living with Spencer. And who knows? Maybe Steph
would find someone to woo her with chocolates. There were certainly worse ways
to be wooed.
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